Can I handle the pain? Not to get too existential but what does "handle" imply? Am I capable of managing various levels of distressful external or internal stimulation? I certainly am. I am capable. I am strong. I also may not want to do so. Certainly, if I am tolerating pain of any kind, I am focused more on survival, the here and now, and finding immediate relief to the discomfort. Don't blame me, blame evolutionary biology.
You see, there exists a certain heiarchy of need for humans. The theory goes along the lines of how, unless we meet our basic needs of hunger, thirst, and physical safety (housing, health, etc), there is not mental space to think about deeper thoughts or feelings. It reminds me of the saying "you got to walk before you can run!". This does NOT imply weakness of any kind. Quite the opposite, I have found and seen extreme levels of resiliency in those of us experiencing these threats to our basic level of survival. In our training as therapists, we spend much time exploring theory and its integration to working with different people. However, not enough time is spent highlighting the resiliency factors of those experiencing these types of challenges. One experience that has stood out to me recently is that of living with chronic pain conditions.
One of the most challenging threats to our mental, physical, and relational health is the persistent and frequent experience of pain. Certain medical diseases and related conditions can result in this visceral and excruciating experience, chronic pain. Many individuals, sadly even other medical professionals, do not give those experiencing chronic pain enough support or assistance. Oftentimes, these individuals are labeled as drug seeking "addicts" (I even shutter writing that word), phonies, or -even more stigmatizing- "crazy" and the pain "just being in their head". It is no wonder why some studies indicate over 75% of those experiencing chronic pain also have significant reports of depression; including rates of isolation, limiting in social interactions for fear of having a flare up, and increased healthy anxiety regarding the unknown of it all. It all can feel like too much for the individual experiencing chronic pain- that is where therapy can help!
As therapists, we view the person. The entire person. The physical, mental, social, and everything in between. Those experiencing forms of chronic pain can experience more relational support by engaging in therapy. Therapy does not get rid of the chronic pain. However, it can assist the individual experiencing it in learning to cope with it in new ways. These ways to cope include learning to view the individual themselves as that resilient person noted above. Increasing resiliency feelings can help in wellbeing, decrease depressive tendencies, and enhance a more neutral to positive self outlook. I like to highlight this self outlook part as oftentimes living with chronic pain can cause us to forget about ourselves, our true selves. Between the need to have to go to various doctor appointments and many painful physical and invasive procedures, a negative and angry relationship to our physical body can be created and formed. We view the body that was once capable and strong as weak and "going against us". The mind-body connection is integral in the coping of living with chronic pain, so utilizing therapy to assist in restoring a safe relationship to the body can have a significant impact on an individuals overall wellness.
If you are experiencing chronic pain, you are not alone and you can work towards the life you deserve. Gaining the needed support and acquiring the space to do so are the key factors that can help you make the first steps. The question may be less if can you handle the pain and more on if you should do it alone. If you are beginning to endorse the latter, please reach out to us today, it would be our honor to begin your healing journey with you.
