Myths About Overcoming Trauma: A New Way to Heal

By: Holly Earnest, M.Ed., APC, NCC 

When people think about healing from trauma, they are often met with expectations, opinions, and beliefs about what it “should” look like. These beliefs may be shaped by culture, society, or self-help narratives, but true trauma healing rarely looks the way we are told it should. When our lived experience doesn’t match those expectations, we may assume we are doing it wrong—or that we are wrong. 

You are not wrong. You are not defective, broken, or “too far gone.” These beliefs are myths about trauma that influence—and ultimately hinder—how we understand and approach trauma healing. 

Let’s clear up some common myths about overcoming trauma. 

Myth #1: “Time Heals All Wounds”  

While time creates distance from the experience, it does not create the tools, connection, or attunement needed to heal the trauma. Healing from trauma requires safety, regulation, support, and intentional processing—not just the passage of time. Trauma does not just happen in a single moment; it happens to us, our nervous system, and can live in us far after the event is over.  

Myth #2: “It’s Just in Your Head”  

Trauma impacts the entire person. It is held within the brain, body, and nervous system. It influences our thoughts, emotions, connections, relationships, sensations, and behaviors long after the event is over. Traumatic experiences are embodied experiences that can impact all areas of our lives.  

Myth #3: “Talking About It Should Be Enough” 

While talking can absolutely be helpful, trauma healing often requires deeper and more profound insight, intentionality, safety, attunement, and mind/body processing. True healing needs integration, not just conversation.  

Myth #4: “Healing Means Forgetting and Letting Go” 

Healing from trauma does not take the experience away. It does not minimize or erase what happened or how deeply it has impacted you. Healing from trauma takes the emotional sting out of it. It integrates memories, reducing their activation. Healing isn’t forgetting; it is remembering without relieving the pain or event. 

Myth #5: “Healing Should Be Fast in Therapy” 

Healing is not linear. Therapy is not linear. Trauma impacts the physiology of the brain. True healing becomes less “willpower” and more processing of deeply seated underpinnings. The nervous system heals through safety, attunement, readiness, and consistency, not rushed urgency. Trauma healing unfolds in layers and slows before it deepens, taking a steady, safe approach.  

Myth #6: “Mine Isn’t That Bad, Others Have it Worse” 

Trauma is not about comparison. It is about how overwhelmed and dysregulated your nervous system felt at the time of the experience. What is traumatic for one may not be traumatic for another—neither perception will discount or discredit the other's experience. Emotional and physical neglect, developmental or attachment disruptions, and lack of safety can all be deeply traumatic, regardless of one specific event.   

What Overcoming Trauma Actually Looks Like 

Overcoming trauma isn’t drastic, instant, or a “quick fix.” It often looks like: 

• Increased tolerance to emotions 

• Decreased emotional reactivity  

• Greater trust in self and emotions 

• More presently focused and grounded  

• Feeling less on edge or in fight or flight 

  
  

Healing isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about living without constant survival mode. The first step to healing is recognizing your bravery.