Understanding Relationship Abuse: A Comprehensive Guide

Updated: Nov 9

What is Relationship Abuse?

Relationship abuse is multifaceted, deeply complex, and often invisible to the outside world. Its impact can extend far beyond surface-level interactions, leaving deep, everlasting emotional scars. Relationship abuse can manifest in various forms, including emotional, psychological, sexual, physical, reproductive coercion, stalking, spiritual abuse, and even technologically facilitated dynamics (National Domestic Violence Hotline, n.d.). These types of abuse can escalate gradually or rapidly as the abuser seeks to gain and maintain power and control. Even when hidden from the outside world, the effects of relationship abuse on an individual can be strong and ever-present. These effects may have life-altering influences on one's emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual well-being. But what exactly is relationship abuse, and what can I do about it?

The Nature of Relationship Abuse

According to The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness (2025), relationship abuse is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual, or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. It’s important to recognize that abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern of control.

How Relationship Abuse Can Look

Common Signs of Relationship Abuse (National Domestic Violence Hotline, n.d.):

Extreme jealousy of time spent with family or friends.
Discouragement from spending time with others or pursuing personal happiness.
Insulting, demeaning, or shaming you, especially in front of others.
Controlling all finances or pressuring you not to work, claiming they “can pay for everything” without collaborative discussion.
Refusing to provide money, leaving you unable to meet your needs.
Pressuring you into uncomfortable situations involving sex, drugs, or alcohol.
Using intimidation to get what they want.
Destroying things in the home as a form of control.
Hitting, slapping, or pushing you.
Preventing you from having autonomy over your life, choices, money, work, or school.

The Power and Control Wheel

Adapted from Domestic Violence Intervention Programs.

The Prevalence of Relationship Abuse

The prevalence of intimate partner violence is pervasive and not uncommon. Research by Black et al. (2011) reveals alarming statistics:

Intimate partner violence affects more than 12 million people every year.
Nearly 3 in 10 women (29%) and 1 in 10 men (10%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by a partner, reporting significant impacts on their functioning.
1 in 4 women (24.3%) and 1 in 7 men (13.8%) aged 18 and older in the US have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
An average of 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States—totaling more than 12 million women and men over the course of a single year.
81% of women who experienced rape, stalking, or physical violence from an intimate partner reported significant impacts, such as injuries or symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Possible Impacts of Relationship Abuse

Physical Impacts

According to Mass General Brigham (2025), the physical impacts of relationship abuse can include:

Cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, and reproductive issues.
Chronic pain.
Pulmonary and musculoskeletal conditions.

Emotional Impacts

The emotional toll can be just as severe. The American Psychiatric Association, as cited in Mass General Brigham (2025), notes potential emotional impacts, including:

Dissociation.
Generalized anxiety disorder.
Major depressive disorder.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Emotional dysregulation.
Feelings of confusion, guilt, shame, anxiety, chronic stress, and more.

Seeking Support: Resources Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing relationship abuse, it’s crucial to seek help. Here are some valuable resources:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Website: National Domestic Violence Hotline
24/7 and CONFIDENTIAL
Call: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Text: “START” to 88788
Chat: National Domestic Violence Hotline Chat

Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence (GCADV)

Website: GCADV
If you live in Georgia, call the 24-Hour Statewide Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-33-HAVEN (1-800-334-2836).
If you are outside of Georgia, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Conclusion: Taking the First Step

Understanding relationship abuse is the first step toward healing. It’s essential to recognize the signs and seek help. Remember, you are not alone, and support is available. Whether through hotlines, counseling, or community resources, there are paths to safety and recovery. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel trapped or powerless, I encourage you to reach out. You deserve to live a life free from fear and filled with peace.

For more information on relationship abuse and support, visit The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness.

References

Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010 Summary Report. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Mass General Brigham. (2025). When home isn’t safe: The mental health impact of domestic violence. McLean Hospital. Mass General Brigham
National Domestic Violence Hotline. (n.d.). Types of abuse. National Domestic Violence Hotline Types of Abuse
National Domestic Violence Hotline. (n.d.). Warning signs of abuse. What to look for. National Domestic Violence Hotline Warning Signs
The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness. (2025). What is relationship abuse. Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness