Working with Leaks:The Importance of a Dual-Pronged Approach

As a therapist, I know that counseling can be a complex process. It can take place across different layers, be approached from various angles, and frequently features a heavy dose of nuance. In fact, I would say that counseling is just as much an art as it is a science. This isn’t something only true of counseling, we see that duality all throughout life. Examples such as composing music, architecture, and even baking feature both structure and flexibility. But, within a field walking the line between freedom and rigidity, it becomes vital to clarify what counseling is, especially to the client. Full disclosure, I could pick out an aspect of the counseling process to write about in detail every week for a year and still not cover everything. But, as a starting point I’d love to illustrate one attribute of effective counseling in particular: its function as a dual-pronged approach.

My specific goal for this blog is to provide a metaphor that clearly demonstrates how shifting between two major focuses in counseling allows for sustainable, long-term healing and change. Before I share that metaphor, it’s important to identify what those two aforementioned focuses are. I would describe them as underlying hurt/vulnerability, and consequences/exacerbating factors. The truth of the matter is, unless the roots of a challenge are addressed, it isn’t reasonable to expect that challenge to truly change or be resolved. By the same token, working on the roots alone sometimes isn’t possible if we ignore the current stresses brought forth by those roots. Hopefully that principle is able to be understood on its own. Ultimately, though, I want to share what has been helpful to me in understanding how that principle plays out on a deeper level.

That brings us to our metaphor. I’ve read, heard, and considered many different analogies for counseling. There are countless options that highlight and expand upon different aspects of counseling very thoroughly, and none can perfectly encapsulate the entire counseling process across all clients. The metaphor that I heard most recently though, is my personal favorite when it comes to understanding how counseling addresses the roots comprising and fruits borne out of various challenges. Take a moment and visualize your life as a house. The exterior doesn't have to resemble any house you’ve ever lived in. Feel free to decorate it with whatever best fits your style. Now, imagine that the house has a leak in it. The plumbing issue resulting in the leak is representative of the roots of whatever challenge you’re bringing into counseling. It might be due to one cause, or multiple. It may be something you’re painfully aware of, or that you’ve never really considered. It could look like trauma, pathology, not having certain needs met, or an inaccurate/unhealthy view of self. It might be a combination of those factors, or something outside of the list entirely. When addressing the issues creating the leak, we have to strive to identify where the leak is, how it originated, and what is currently sustaining it. In the same way, counseling involves exploring problems with curiosity and openness, in an effort to name and understand where our struggles stem from. Taking the time to go through an intake interview, perform a self-inventory, or sit mindfully with our thoughts and bodies allows us the opportunity to locate leaks.

I’m willing to bet that most of us come to counseling not because we’re constantly scanning for what might be a leak. Typically, it’s the water marks on the ceiling or puddle on the floor that we notice first. The water collecting underneath the leak represents the effects of our initial hurt. Sometimes, the leak is highly pressurized, unmistakable, and threatening to flood the house. In these cases, the prompting trauma or wound is immediately apparent and what we begin counseling to address. Other times, though, the leak comes and goes, is in part of the house you don’t often visit, or is only something you come to accept after you see water pooling in front of you. Often, that puddle isn’t enough to tell us all that we need to know about the leak. It is, however, enough to clearly demonstrate that something has to change. In order to even think about exploring and addressing the plumbing, we first have to mop up the standing water, move furniture to prevent further damage, and dry the area to prevent mold. If we try to skip past these steps and start with the pipes, that damage may become worse, or the environment we’re in may prevent us from being able to even get to the plumbing.

Like the various things that prompt us to come to counseling, plumbing issues come in many shapes and sizes. For some of you, leaks may shift in location or severity. For others, they are constant and unable to be ignored. Maybe your starting point is to share everything you know about what originally caused the leak. Maybe it’s to look for signs of water in your life. You may move from drying off the floor straight to working on the pipes. Maybe while tinkering with the plumbing, the resulting flood may require you to stop and mop. There is not a standardized manual for healing, nor is there a roadmap for exactly what to expect throughout the process. The best thing that we can do is assess for what is most in need of being addressed, prioritize our focus accordingly, and accept that there will be uncertainty, difficulty, & discomfort along the way. That approach is ultimately what allows us to attend to, care for, and restore our house.

Understanding the importance of addressing the roots of challenges as well as learning how to navigate their consequences puts us in position to do work that is meaningful, sustainable, and effective. Using practical examples, this process could look like a client coming into therapy due to anxious thought spirals. They have noticed themselves getting increasingly caught up in overthinking, and feel paralyzed when it’s time to make big decisions. The client’s house requires mopping- learning skills for decision-making, reminding oneself about truth in the face of anxiety, and gaining the ability to communicate their thoughts/experiences effectively are vital starting points. Through this process, the client is able to trace the roots of their spiraling to a traumatic experience in which they blamed themselves for a tragic outcome. By processing their experience and inaccurate, self-critical story they tell themself, work is beginning to take place on the pipes. During this process, the client may find that they are becoming dysregulated and overwhelmed by emotions such as anxiety, grief, and shame. When in this state, the client is unable to process effectively, and needs to go back to mopping to learn skills for emotional regulation. By correcting maladaptive narratives, building skills to regulate & reframe, and processing one’s experience within an environment of trust & safety, the client is able to resolve the causes of the leak and mitigate the risk of damage that the leak posed. In other examples, there may be more back and forth, simultaneous repair, or even new leaks identified. But the principle remains: counselors and clients can work together in an effort to both heal the underlying causes of their current distress, and navigate the most present challenges.

As I said before, this metaphor encapsulates one very significant aspect of counseling. It does not describe every aspect of the process in its entirety. But, I deeply appreciate how it illustrates our need for addressing both what is above and below the surface. That process will look different from person to person, and season to season. But professional counseling offers the avenues to do both, and an opportunity to do so adaptably. The other aspect of this analogy that I value is that a house does not only deal with leaks. While the challenges we bring into counseling are significant parts of our lives, and sometimes require a resolution before we can engage with anything else, they do not encompass our identity or full experience. Houses require yardwork, maintenance, and cleanup too. They also allow us to express ourselves, feature varied rooms, and can be updated in response to major changes. The counseling process directs significant time, energy, and effort towards leaks in your life. And, it also emphasizes who you are as a person, what you value, and the aspects of your life that you are most proud of. We are all going to face the need to repair, renovate, and restore in life, whether it’s due to time passing, ongoing storms, or damage that we can’t see on the surface. Counseling offers us the opportunity to do that however we need to, without ignoring everything else that makes the house our own. So, whether your house looks flooded, damp, or bone-dry, I encourage you to invest in the restoration you need- you're worthy of it.

-Therapist Jackson LPC