To Flourish in Adversity

My blog for yall today is going to look a little bit different this time around. It’s essentially the notes and quotes from a recent interview I conducted with my dad. I wanted to approach things from a unique angle for this piece, as well as to share a word that has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. I’ll let the interview itself do most of the talking, but first, I want to give context on the topic and the interviewee.  

As I alluded to before, the specific topic for this interview is a word: Reverisco. It’s a Latin word, used as sort of a family motto ever since my grandfather shared it with his children. Another blog post entirely could be written on the idea of family mottos, as they embody and shape the spirit of family units in so many distinct ways. However, this interview is less about the concept of family mottos and more about how an idea can be inherited and incorporated. Specifically, the idea of “Reverisco.” The working definition that my family has for this word is “to flourish in adversity.” The two phrases are synonymous, and when either is uttered, you can be sure to expect a mindset shift, an increase of determination, and a recommitment of sorts. While this is the primary definition that I will be working from, another definition stood out to me when i was doing research for this project: “to grow green again.” As you’ll see, Reverisco isn’t just about how when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. It’s more nuanced than that. It’s about finding restoration, growth, and real change in the refining moments of life. This word embodies a spirit of resilience- one that I personally feel is so needed in all of our lives today.  

Now that you know a little bit more about the topic, let me introduce you to my dad. I’ll try to keep this brief, otherwise this whole blog will turn into a tribute. Like I said previously, my grandfather is the one who introduced this phrase to my extended family. But for my siblings and I, our dad is the one who first presented this idea. Not only that, but he has always been the strongest example of this in my life. My dad is my hero, someone who has coached me through life, sacrificed so much to provide for my family, and continues to offer us love and support every step of the way. My dad provides spiritual leadership, willingly puts others before himself, and shows strength by being honest in times of vulnerability. I never doubt that my dad is strong enough to do what it takes to be there for my family, himself included. I won’t dive into details beyond what my dad spoke about in our interview, but my dad knows adversity. He lost his father shortly after my siblings and I were born, has dealt with chronic health challenges throughout his adult life, and shoulders the burden of leadership in each area of his life. Yet, through it all, my dad shows up. He challenges himself, brings others with him, and offers all that he can. While this interview is just a snapshot of that, I hope it’s evident just how exceptional he is.  

Interview:  

Jackson (J)- “What does Reverisco mean?” 

Clay (C) - “To flourish in adversity.” 

J- “Where did you get it from?”  

C- “Pop (his dad). He would tell me that when things get hard, you don’t try to finish, you give it your all. Dad always told me that there would be other kids who were faster, bigger, and stronger than me, but that nobody can outhustle you. He gave me the example of Pete Rose, the professional baseball player. He said that even in an All-Star game, he would run through a catcher to score. The first time I remember him sharing Reverisco with me, we were running in Ft. Lewis, Washington. I always hated running, and at the time I was only in third grade. I was tired and wanted to quit. My Dad told me not to limp across the “finish line” which was my driveway at the time. He told me this is where it hurts the most AND this is where you sprint your hardest. He explained to me afterwards about the idea of Reverisco. I’m not sure where he picked it up, maybe from his research in sociology, or in the military. But our whole family knew, you did your best, in every area of life, no matter what. That was the standard- especially when things were hard.”  

J- “How would you say that idea shaped your view of life?” 

C- “Later in life I started to associate it with another word: grit. That idea played out on a daily basis: waking up everyday and working hard especially when I don’t feel like it, and showing up with consistency. I’m not always going to meet the standard perfectly, but embodying that word means never quitting. It means showing up with stamina, and sticking with your future. It has nothing to do with looks, social intelligence, academic intelligence, or physical health. In fact, at points where physical health has been lacking in my life, I can always have grit while I approach things with passion and perseverance. That applies both to daily challenges and long term goals.” 

J- “What are some real-life examples of Reverisco that you can think of?” 

C- I brought up running earlier because it isn’t pretty. It’s the first and only sport I ever quit. That was a huge deal. Dad let me quit middle school cross-country, but before I did, he told me that would make quitting an easier decision for the rest of my life. I remember thinking I must have ruined my life when I made that decision [laughter]. But the example I shared about running with him shows how I rose to the occasion of something I hated and refused to quit moving forward. It wasn’t a competition with someone else, or a time in which I outperformed somebody. It was a time where I pushed through.” 

“I started off my Freshman Fall quarter of college with a 1.6 GPA. I had freedom for the first time, and didn’t emphasize the values that are important to me today. I made bad choices and didn’t know Jesus. When I came home, my Dad gave me an ultimatum. Figure out my grades, or transfer to Columbus College. That was a huge deal to me, it felt like it would’ve been a demotion to stay in the same town. Me being taken out of one school and placed into another would’ve felt like I couldn’t make something of myself. I had to take Summer School that year, and I had accepted Christ between semesters which changed my values, priorities, and focus. I built up my stamina for school, and graduated with a 3.4 GPA. Reverisco was not about being perfect, it was about bouncing back from adversity. It was about showing up with consistency and sacrifice to fill the hole that I dug for myself. I know that by nature, I battle consistency. It’s taken humility, awareness, and putting extra effort into that in order to overcome it.”  

J- “What conditions are needed for someone to ‘flourish in adversity?’” 

C- “Number one is you have to believe that you have the ability to do so. Whether it’s true in that moment or not, you need to have hope. You have to prioritize a strong support system. This can look different for everybody, but it’s true that the five people you spend the most time with will determine where you go in life. Would it be possible for me to battle leukemia without your Mom? Probably. But it makes a world of difference having her by my side. It takes true belief, both in yourself and in the confidence of those around you. That faith is what enables flourishing.” 

“God has opened my eyes as to the reason why I’m here. That means I can have faith when facing trials, and that I don’t lose sight of what’s really important: loving others and sharing faith. Likewise, you have to have the mindset that failure is not a permanent condition. Grades, health, losses in competitions or business, none of those are the be-all end-all. You can reflect on, grieve, and learn from shortcomings. But they don’t dictate your future, nor do they represent who you are. Your mom often says, ‘our goal isn’t to be defined by our mistakes, but refined by them.”  

J- “How does this mindset inform how you show up for others when they are dealing with pain, loss, or hardship?  

C- “It comes back to that word consistency. When a friend of mine had a stroke and couldn’t drive, I asked him if I could take him to get lunch once a week. Just doing that once would’ve been significant, but we’ve continued that for years, even as he’s begun to drive himself again. That’s not to pat myself on the back, I’m going to get lunch regardless. But when you know someone who is dealing with adversity, figuring out how you can offer support can be the factor that allows them to flourish. Another example of that is a fellow State Farm agent that lives in another state who has sent me a card every single week since finding out about my leukemia diagnosis. That’s not the only example of support I’ve received, and I’m appreciative of it all. But that consistency, that’s what enables people to flourish.” 

J- “What happens when someone chooses to flourish?” 

C- “When you choose to flourish, you gain hope. Going back to my example of running with my dad; I remember thinking ‘I hate running, my legs are short and yours are long. My chest hurts. I can’t focus out here, I want this to be over.’ But, if I choose to flourish, I get hope. I see where we’re running to and imagine a white ribbon to run through. There’s not always a payoff, or a winner. But when I got there, I knew it would be over and that I gave it all that I had. Sometimes, you gain something from the situation, sometimes you end up shedding something hard. But, ultimately, you come out on the other side stronger. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Rest assured, there WILL be bad times. And it’s so important for me to know that my children know their mom and I will be there in every bad moment that we can be. And ultimately, beyond Mom or I, I want y’all to know that you can rest secure in the rock that you’re built on.” 

“People see lighthouses, standing tall and strong in the midst of waves and storms. They marvel at the building and how it holds up. But what really deserves the credit is the rock that it’s built on. That’s what I want Jesus to be to you and your siblings. The foundation that everything is built on, and the person that deserves the credit for your ability to weather life’s storms.” 

“Reviresco is about not giving up. It’s not easy. It doesn’t guarantee that you will win, or succeed. But being willing to fail enables you to give it your all, without holding back. Failure, adversity, shortcomings, none of them define you. They’re part of life, and that’s where we’re refined and able to cultivate hope.”  

End of Interview 

I want to thank my Dad for being willing to sit and reflect on things with me for this blog. Without him, I wouldn’t be able to write about this, and him taking time out of his day to answer questions is just another example of how he shows up. I’m extremely fortunate to be surrounded by many wonderful people in life that I look up to. I don’t take that for granted. The message of Reviresco has been that instills hope and renews strength in me. While I’m sure it will mean something a little different to everyone, my hope is that this blog has been encouraging. I want you to know that wherever you are when reading this, whatever is going on in your life, you have the strength to flourish. We’re all aware of the trials that life throws at us. We can’t always control or predict the outcome. But, when we place our hope in that which is life-giving, we can flourish. Grow green again.  

Jackson Van Meter M.S., APC, NCC