When people come to therapy, they often expect to talk about anxiety, depression, stress, relationships, or trauma. But just like in other parts of our lives, there are some topics people tend to shy away from, whether from fear of judgment, social taboo, or the deep desire to be liked. These are the conversations we avoid, not just in therapy, but in life. Among the hardest are: money, sex, and the therapeutic relationship itself.
As a mental health counselor, I want to encourage you! Talking about these topics is not only okay in therapy, but also essential for real growth and healing, and personally (I cannot speak for all counselors), I love it.
Money is more than just numbers – it can feel taboo. It’s tied to our sense of worth, power, identity, and security. Whether you’re dealing with debt, financial inequality, or anxiety about your income, avoiding this topic doesn’t make the stress go away. Additionally, it can be an important conversation to have if it’s affecting your ability to make it to your sessions.
Therapy is a safe place to explore:
- Your beliefs and fears around money
- How financial stress impacts your mental health
- Conflicts about money in relationships
- The cost of therapy itself (yes, you can bring that up too)
Many people feel ashamed to admit they’re struggling financially or feel guilty for having more than others. Therapy can help unpack that shame and make space for honest, nonjudgmental conversations. As therapists, we understand that therapy is a financial investment in your future, and getting to be a part of the conversation allows us to collaborate on solutions and supports.
Sex is one of the most natural parts of life—and one of the hardest to talk about. Whether it's performance anxiety, lack of desire, past trauma, questions around identity or orientation, or issues in your intimate relationships, these are valid topics for therapy.
When we avoid talking about sex, we may:
- Feel isolated or ashamed
- Stay stuck in patterns that hurt our self-esteem or relationships
- Miss the chance to understand our bodies, desires, and needs better
As therapists, we aim for a non-judgmental stance on all issues brought to us. We will hold space for these vulnerable conversations and help you explore sexuality in a way that feels safe and empowering. Sometimes when we do not talk about sex, we miss the opportunity to have safer, more fulfilling relationships. I tend to be direct but compassionate in my discussions of sex. There are times when simply having someone to listen makes all the difference in our relationships.
This one might surprise you, it’s okay to talk to us about us. It can feel awkward to tell your therapist if something they said upset you, or if you're not feeling heard. The therapeutic relationship itself is a powerful part of the healing process, and being empowered to discuss issues that arise between you and your therapist can model healthy conflict resolution in your everyday life!
Bring up concerns like:
- 'I felt dismissed when you said that.'
- 'I'm not sure we're connecting.'
- 'I’m afraid of disappointing you.'
- 'I think I need something different.'
This can strengthen the therapy process! One of my favorite professors once said, “The only bad conflict is unresolved conflict.” This is a paradigm I live by. When we talk about the relationship between therapist and client, we model how to navigate conflict, assert needs, and build trust in other relationships, too. Your therapist is there for you, and your feedback, both positive and negative, is important.
Money, sex, and the therapeutic relationship aren’t easy to talk about. But they touch on core aspects of our lives like how we care for ourselves, connect with others, and navigate the world. Avoiding them might feel safer in the short term, but being brave enough to open up can lead to deep, meaningful change.
If you’re in therapy and feeling hesitant to bring these topics up, try starting with:
“This feels hard to say, but…” That small step can be the first of many to bring the change you wish to see in yourself and your relationships. You deserve a space where all parts of you, especially the parts that feel complicated, are heard.
Autumn Hutto, MS, APC, NCC
